This week, as we stock up on sweets and play the “Monster Mash” on repeat, our four-legged friends are making their own holiday preparations. We invited special guest blogger, Barkley, to give us a pooch’s perspective on the Halloween tradition. Here’s what he had to say…
Sure. It’s easy to “blame the dog” for holiday mishaps. I’ll admit, I was out of line to drink up the last of the Christmas tree water. And freaking out at the sight of your festive Fourth of July sparklers was, in retrospect, uncalled for. But I maintain, last Halloween I was only trying to help enhance the festivities.
You may or may not remember, but I put an awful lot of effort into “setting the mood.” First, I secured the perimeter of the yard, laboriously marking our territory in no uncertain terms. Pranksters and trespassing troublemakers abound on Halloween, and I wasn’t about to let them have their jollies…
When that job was done, I commissioned the work of Snickers the cat to spruce up the draperies with a “tattered and torn” motif. I still think that it was appropriate design choice for the haunted house feel I was going for. It must have worked too, judging from Mom’s screaming!
While Snickers was busy with the blinds, I put my own paws to work in the yard. Thinking I’d go all-out on the macabre Halloween theme, I dug a decorative grave or two, which I have to say, looked pretty authentic. To kick it up a notch, I filled each trench with the mangled remains of a few long departed squeaky toys.
After a good while of digging ditches, I hopped on the couch, where I decided it was time to start shedding. The original plan was to craft a miniature army of “furball monsters” to drift mysteriously around the house. Unfortunately, this attempt was thwarted when some wise guy (Dad) dragged out the vacuum.
Next, I warmed my vocal chords to provide an eerie ambient soundtrack to the night’s festivities. Barricading myself in the bathroom, I howled until I was practically blue in the face. The makeshift echo chamber really lent a ghostly resonance to my moans, which couldn’t help but chill the spine. But I didn’t stop there. Even when settling down for a nap, I made no effort to conceal my usual snoring. Believe me, this made some pretty scary sounds too!
So, here we are a year later, and believe it or not, I’ve yet to receive a single “thank you”. But I won’t let that dampen my mood. I’ve got big plans for this year!
I think I’ll start by knocking over the candy dish…
Hang in there Barkley. You are doing good work!