In the immortal words of Queen Victoria… “Men are hard to shop for!”
Okay, okay. There’s really no way to prove that one. But like every other wife or girlfriend in the history of holidays, we’re sure it crossed her mind at one point or another. The Strong-Silent-Type isn’t one to gush over his wish list, and even Mr. Sensitive tends to clam up when pressed for what he really wants. Still, ladies typically approach the task of guy- gifting with an emotional, intuitive philosophy, believing their male counterparts secretly pine away for the neckties of their dreams.
We don’t know about all that, but we do believe that in order to shop for a guy, you have to think like a guy. This means using your “Left Brain”, ladies… Getting downright analytical! We took it upon ourselves to design a few simple, pseudo-scientific experiments to help Elfettes discover what their husbands and boyfriends really want this holiday season… whether they know it or not!
For the Musical Man:
You’d love your gift to hit the right chord, but are also having a hard time pinning-down his musical tastes. To figure out what he likes, first make a mix-tape of various options. Try to cover as many genres as possible. Since it’s pretty much proven that no guy can keep his hands off his girlfriend’s radio on a road trip, go for a long drive and pop-in the tunes. Observe which bands he flips through and which ones he’ll let ride. You’ll sort out his favorites in no time!
For the Scented Stallion:
Can’t decide which cologne is a musk-have? Get a few free sample cards at the department store and take them home. Rub each specimen vigorously on a different shirt in his closet. (Try to keep it a controlled experiment by choosing identical or similar-looking shirts.) Give the cultures a few days to mature, then sit and wait to see which shirt (and which scent) he’s compelled to wear first… You’ll have a winner!
For the Late Sleeper:
Shopping for PJ’s, but not sure if he wants flannel or fleece? Try to coax it out of him in his sleep. Whisper sweet nothings of natural fibers and poly-cotton blends into his ear, and see how he responds to each suggestion. If he’s not much of a sleep talker, establish a code to decipher his answers (one snore for “Yes”, two snores for “No”.) On Christmas morning, he’ll think his pajamas were custom-made!
For the Bookworm:
Knowing what he’ll read next is like trying to pick his fantasy football team… It’s a highly personal, sensitive subject. To make an educated guess, however, see what he’s got on his shelves right now. Distinguish his favorite authors by quantifying their frequency on the ledge. Now, in selecting a gift, do not make the mistake of choosing another title by the most popular writer. Rather, use that information to research other authors similar to the ones seen on his shelf. This can be done on any search engine easily. But if you want to feel just a little more empirical, simply plug in the name to this uber-scientific database on similarauthors.com! Then buy your guy a “starter collection” of his new favorite author’s work. When he finally reads these well-picked publications, he’ll doubtlessly applaud your obscure taste in literature!
For the Techie:
There may be some jaw-dropping advances in modern technology, but you can always fall back on good old-fashioned reverse psychology to help you pick the perfect gadget for your sweetie. While watching television, or flipping through seasonal print ads together, be overtly (and vocally) critical of every must-have item you see. Don’t hold back! Lambaste that cool knew Smartphone… Let the handheld wireless reading device really have it… Make the big-screen 3-D television set feel like it’s about an inch tall! Now, you can observe without bias which item he defends most passionately. If it’s worth disputing you over, you can safely deduce that he probably wants it pretty bad!
There you have it. The Left-Brained mentality above will certainly prove practical when shopping for your handsome Honey Bunny. But it’ll also give you a leg-up in the Lumberjack Jamboree when Elf Week pops up on the calendar.
Still, if all this thinking like a guy just makes you want to light a scented candle, log onto Elfster.com and set up your own wish list!
Although I am admitted Techie, Kelly, if you are listening…. late sleeper is the way to go for me!