To My Adoring Public,
It has come to my attention that my approval rating has taken a dive down the proverbial rabbit hole in recent weeks. While I’ve still got a good number of “believers, the Facebook polls don’t lie.
My agent seems to think this little slump might have something to do with my escapades in the off-season. (Hey, I’m a rabbit.) He’s even gone so far as to suggest a quick visit to the vet to correct the problem. With my bunnyhood at stake, I feel that I must offer some explanation of my behavior.
Having to live up to the impossibly white and downy fluff of the bunnies featured in Cadbury ads, and the boundless enthusiasm of the Energizer mascot in commercials, I have to say, I’m under an awful lot of pressure. Not normally prone to “performance anxiety”, you can imagine the toll this has taken on my self-esteem.
That is why I humbly ask for a little recognition. I would greatly appreciate your continued support in Easters to come… Those colored eggs don’t hide themselves, you know!
Sincerely,
The Easter Bunny
PS- I hear Santa gets cookies…